My Poor Ear Hairs: Is Everyone OK in There?

So I’ve been meaning to write this for some time now but with the move I just haven’t had time. I hope you enjoy the description as much I enjoyed writing it : )
Guatemalan evangelical church is a very interesting place. I mentioned earlier that here it is soooo not necessary that one sing on key (or in the key for that matter : ) . I’ve had a few interesting experiences with this aspect of church in particular.

I remember one time specifically a few months after I arrived—we were singing a slow song. Now, I generally like slower songs when we sing them in church, but that day, it was almost painful. Imagine 25-50 people all singing a song at half the speed of Amazing Grace (just to clarify, that’s reaaaaaaally reaaaaaally slow). But imagine each one of them singing a different note at that pace. How many notes are in the musical scale? I’m not sure, but Guatemalans in the rural evangelical church are excellent at using all of them! Going into the sixth verse, one of my eyeballs actually rolled up in my head and I think I whimpered. Thankfully everyone except the two year old in front of me was enthusiastically belting out the words so perhaps no one will ever know my pain...unless that kid’s a snitch-mouth squealer.

My second experience was similar, except much, much, much closer to home. So there’s this little book that’s similar to a hymnal in which all the songs are written in Spanish. Sometimes my host mom flips open to the song so I can sing along, which is really sweet cause I usually just end up clapping till my hands are red and making up whatever words I want in English….let me tell you I was not blessed with songwriting skills so it is rarely a beautiful experience lol For some reason, even though every knows all the words to every song by heart (there’s no projector screen and even the little kids know all the words!), host mom turns and starts sharing the songbook. Unfortunately for those little hair in my ears that are supposed to pick up sound, that also meant that her mouth was angled directly at me ear. Poor little hairs, that was months ago…they’re still trying to get to an upright position. Host mom is one of the most enthusiastic aka LOUDEST singers in the church…but also completely, 100%, never hit the right note in her life tone deaf. In an effort to ignore the stinging in the back of my eyes, I joined in, humming my own unique verse as loud as I could. Nonetheless, I swear I felt a drop of blood fall from my ear onto my shoulder. My ear hairs, those fighters, used those glorious moments when she took a breath to brace themselves for the next verse. It was rough……these words cannot describe how extremely loud and extremely not on key the song was…..inches away from my face. Thank goodness I can look back on this experience and laugh though : 0 )

A few other interesting points to note:
It must be a really nice break for new moms to come to church (which is always at night) because they don’t have to watch their babies. The little guy get passed around the entire congregation to whoever wants to bounce them on their lap: from the grandma who looks like her wrists might not be strong enough to hold the chubby ball of energy to the 5 year old in the back row who is only 3 inches taller than the baby. It’s cute. It’s like they’re a big family.
I really like that everyone shares in the church activities. Every night someone new leads the songs rather than the same ole people like we do in the States. Also, they call the pastor “hermano pastor” which means brother pastor. I like the way they he is still called brother—it’s kind of equalizing. Sometimes I feel like people treat pastors, especially in the black church, like they have this mystical power that makes them superior to the rest of us. Also, if there’s an announcement and someone wants to comment, they are free to interject and explain a bit more or add their two cents. I like how overall the service just…goes and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Plus everyone shares in the responsibility and leadership.

So there are my experiences in the evangelical churches I’ve attended here in Guatemala!

***Please do not take any comments I have made as being judgmental or negative. This was written as I experienced it and is in a comedic light but certainly not intended to make fun of the evangelical church in Guatemala and is no way intended to be derogatory. YAY!