Who Knew We Were So Different

The whole idea of Peace Corps reflects a deeply ingrained American ideology: things can always be improved upon. The optimism that most Americans have that “if you put your mind it to and don’t take no for an answer” is not a universal concept and may in fact be frowned upon in some societies.

Any American living abroad must remember: it’s not innately harmful to push boundaries, but it’s maximally important to find out why things are done the way they are. In some instances, your actions might alienate co-works, locals/nationals or create cultural barriers that harm either your work or social relationships.

The ideas that follow were presented to me in the amazing PC resource on cultural differences, a book called Culture Matters: the Peace Corps Cross-Cultural Workbook.

The idea of Personal vs Social Obligation:

The book sets up a scenario: You are a passenger in the car with a close friend when suddenly your friend hits a pedestrian. The man is not badly hurt, only bruised. Your friend’s lawyer tells you that although the medical situation does not call for severe action, the friend was driving 35 mph in a 20 mph zone. However, if you testify in court that he was driving 20 mph, he will suffer no serious consequences. WOULD YOU TESTIFY THAT YOUR FRIEND WAS DRIVING 20 MPH?

96% of Americans said they would NOT testify in favor of their friend.

34% of Venezuelans said they NOT testify in favor of their friend.

Why the difference? At first glance, one might say that Venezuelans are not as honest as Americans, but in reality, this is jumping to conclusions and imposing American morality on non-Americans. Another explanation exists: in terms of cultural attitudes, Americans tend to be universalists while Venezuelans tend to be particularists.

Universalism: certain absolutes apply across the board; right is right, regardless of circumstances; whenever possible one should apply the same rules to everyone; to be fair is treat your mother (an in-group member) and a stranger exactly the same; life isn’t necessarily fair but we can make it more fair by treating everyone as equally as possible.

Particularism: one must take into account the circumstances (the person in trouble is your friend); how one behaves in a given situations depends on the circumstances; there are no absolutes because you never know who you’re dealing with; you treat in-group members the best you can and let the rest of the world take care of itself—their group is responsible for protecting them; exceptions can always be made; no one expects life to be fair.

Universalists	Particularists
Desire consistency	Friends expect preferential treatment
Justice is blind	Deals made on basis of personal relationships
Principals aren’t compromised	People hire friends and family
Objectivity is the rule	Subjectivity is the rule
Logic of the head is important	Friends always trusted (no business with strangers)
The law is the law	Exception is the rule, no absolutes exist

Some examples:

1. (U): I would not expect my neighbor, the policewoman, to jeopardize her job and not give me a ticket.

(P): I would be very hurt if my neighbor, a policewoman, gave me a speeding ticket.

2. (U): In general, people can be trusted.

(P): My family, friends and closest associates are absolutely trusted, everyone else is suspect.

3. (U): In society, we should help those who are neediest.

(P): In society, we should help those neediest of those of depend on us.

4. (U): Contracts help friends stay friends.

(P): Contracts are not necessary between friends

Styles of Communication—Indirect vs Direct:

Indirect/High Context: context refers to the amount of innate and unspoken understanding a person is expected to bring into a conversation. In high context societies, like Thailand, where society is largely homogenous and collectivist, people know what to expect of the person with whom they are conversing based on relational status, background and pervious similar encounters. This consciousness and basic understanding of other individuals in society translates into communication that requires far less literal verbal communication. Because the society is collectivist rather than individualist, everyone knows exactly what everyone else knows and therefore being explicit and direct is not necessary. People make their intentions and desires clear by manipulating the conversation or surrounding situation. The goal of communication is to maintain harmony and save face.

Direct/Low Context: heterogeneous and individualist societies, such as the US, have developed a more direct communication style due to the low context that each person brings into interactions (not much contextual information can be gathered and little background information is known). In light of the emphasis placed on independence, self-reliance and less emotional transparency, individuals can neither manipulate the context nor make assumptions about other individuals. Lack of widespread societal rituals and the high volume of diversity precludes indirect communication: not doing something or not saying something means almost nothing due to the high levels of variation amongst individuals. Therefore, words are both used and interpreted literally with the main goal of communication being to exchange information.

Characteristics and Behaviors of Indirect communicators compared to Direct:

Indirect	Direct
People “small talk” before getting to business	Business first, then small talk
Small talk is very important to build and strengthen relationships for indirect communicators, however, in direct cultures, a meeting is called to conduct business.
Use of understatement is frequent/people tell you what you want to hear	People think it’s best to tell it like it is
“yes” means I hear you	“yes” means yes
People are reluctant to say no	It is Ok to disagree with the boss/co-workers
If indirect communicators say yes, it carries less meaning and one must use context clues to decipher the person’s actual response.
People are already up to date at a meeting	People need to be brought up to date
In collectivists (indirect) cultures, people know their co-workers exceptionally well, in low context cultures, people must be brought up to speed on their co-worker’s progress and thoughts.
The rank/status of the messenger as important s the message	The message is what counts, not who the messenger is

Examples of how indirect communication can manifest:

You “explain” something to your co-workers who nod in agreement but say nothing. Later you find out they disagree and don’t want to follow your plan. When approached they agree once more that they like your plan.

Your boss keeps saying he will get back to you about your proposal. (sounds familiar to me!)

Decoding Indirectness or Practicing Indirectness:

What they said:	What they meant:
Do you think that’s a good idea? Are there other ideas? I like this part of your idea.	I don’t think that’s such a good idea.
This is a very interesting view point.	I don’t agree. We need to talk more about this first. You’re wrong.
I think those figures might be old. I have a different set of figures. Let’s go over these together.	Those figures are not accurate.

Interesting, no?

Of course in some families, this is the accepted norm, but the majority of Americans are direct communicators and may come across either a bit hard-headed or blunt (in a negative sense) to those who come from high-context/indirect societies.

You Know You’re in Guatemala When:

1. Pedestrians do not have the right away….and you could definitely still be smashed into bits by a bus careening around the corner at 60 mph while standing safely on the side of the road.

2. There are pigs and dogs leashed in the front yard.

3. There are payphones on the street corners.

4. You pass the police with 15 people in a 5 passenger car and they nod, “good morning”.

5. There are chickens instead of squirrels circling the trees outside.

6. When it’s so cold at night you have to wear long underwear to bed but are desperately trying to air out your pits by 2pm because the sun is so strong.

7. Grilling is actually over an open fire.

8. When the “sports” section of news consists of 100% soccer, all day, all the time.

9. On that note, when you can find soccer on no less than 2/6 channels at any given moment.

10. It constantly smells like weed outside but you know it’s just the burning trash.

11. When you can count on receiving a snack and/or a glass of Pepsi/Coke at every single house you visit!

12. You can buy 8 avocados for under a dollar.

13. Juice is actually made with real fruit…by hand.

14. You’re on a bus and no one is talking to one another except the foreigners, who are generally really, really loud.

15. When someone can call someone else “fatty” like it’s a nickname. “Fatty are you ready?”

16. When you’re standing on a bus and everyone else’s arms are stretched straight to reach the upper handrail and your arm is at a 90 degree angle.

17. When the second verse to Happy Birthday is “We want cake, we want cake, even though it’s probably a small piece, we still want cake!” It’s my new favorite verse!

18. If you’re choking, someone slaps you SO hard across the back of the head in an effort to save your life.

19. You do a double take when you seen a person with dyed hair because everyone has their natural color.

20. When your Saturday morning priority is waiting for the garbage man to pass so you can chase him down with your bag of toilet paper and empty bean cans.

21. A joke never, never, never dies and you end up retelling it for the next eight weeks.

22. Someone can blatantly tell someone else that their ponytail is ugly, that they don’t like it and the person should take it down…and they do.

23. You can call out to random people on the street using physical features. For example it’s perfectly normal to say “darkie, white girl, curly hair or chubby lady” in place of “excuse me”, “ma’m” or “hey you”.

24. When people enter a room while you are eating dinner and expect you to shake their hands (and then pick up your tortilla and continue eating).

25. The accepted way to let the people know the bus is leaving is to either honk the horn repeatedly or turn on the car alarm for no less than 15 minutes prior to departure.

26. Your name is proceeded by “the” and suddenly you are “the Yuna” or “the Shetoria”

27. When you are flying down the mountain at 60 miles an hour and there is a man with a giant woven basket full of heavy things pitched over his shoulder, climbing a ladder up the back of the bus onto the roof…as you fly down the mountain…and then he climbs down the ladder and swings into the back of the bus through the back door.

28. Pepsi, Coke, Sprite, 7Up, Orange Crush and other pop is referred to as “agua” or water.

29. When you see mothers feeding their babies bottles of orange crush instead of milk.

30. When people you don’t know kiss you hello (I really like this one : 0)

Squeamish? Proceed no Further. Chicken Killing

So I helped mom kill a chicken the other day. It was fascinating and a bit gruesome at the same time. Here is photo-documentation of our adventure (Ok, so it probably wasn't an adventure for her since she always does it, but it sure was for me!)

Step 1: catch you a chicken:

Step 2: kill the chicken (this step omitted in my photo journalism), however, mom did manage to catch my genuine reaction to it posthumously writhing in my hands.

Step 3: soak the (dead) chicken for the first time (to warm up its feathers)

Step 4: pluck the feathers!

Step 5: chicken gets bath #2

Step 6: tortue the chicken over a fire (did you know that chickens have these sporadically placed long hairs over their bodies that need to be singed off? Well they do!)

Step 7: cut up the chicken!

I only included one super graphic photo, but I think it's actually kind of artistic. Is that sick?

And that's how it's done! I hope you aren't grossed out. I excluded the video footage and the grossest pictures, but I thought you might like to know what the experience was like!

Bon Apetite!

Why I adore my Guatemalan family

Host mom wearing her grandson's hat. She's so silly!

So one thing that really keeps a smile on my face is my little Guatemalan family. They are so precious.
First of all, my mom, Mayra, who I’m the closest with, is the sweetest little round lady you’ll ever meet. She has this little chortle like you might imagine a dolphin having when laughing at a good joke. The notes slide down the scale and float through the air to my upstairs window while I’m doing homework and it always makes me smile. When she’s super excited she claps really loudly and does this little hop that barely leaves the ground, or sometimes she pounces on dad from behind, chortling loudly and getting about 3/4s of an inch of air. And she gets really energetic when it’s time for dad to come home from work. When he honks his motorcycle horn from the street to say “open the gate” she get’s this grin that lights up her whole face and her eyes get wide and she shouts “Papa Tere! He’s here! Quick! Get the door,” and follows me chortling and clapping and leaping all the way to the door. Also, sometimes she sings really loudly when she thinks no one is around LOL. And in Guatemala, it’s not necessary that one sing on key (more about this later) so it’s really cute.

Also, since I go by Yuna here, my dad started calling me Yunais, like “you (are) nice. Well that developed into a language called English-Guatemalteco. Essentially you just add “ais” to any Spanish word...the combinations are endless and it never ceases to make us laugh when someone busts out with a new word in our little language.

They made a sign to welcome me home from training!
When I left for a week training session, the family called and/or texted everyday! It was so precious because you could see we all really missed each other. One text, for example, said, “Hello Yunais! How are you? The family misses you a lot in moments like this when we are having dinner.”After dinner we have coffee and sweet bread and sit around and chat or watch movies. Everyone knows I love the muffin bread called cubilete so they offer it to me first and I split it with mom. My dad sent me a text that said, “Ooooo Yunais, a member of the crazy family (that’s what we call ourselves) is missing. I need someone to share the cubilete. Yunais! We miss you.” It almost brought a tear to my eye that they thought of me during dinner. Also, I always imitate a rooster for them so they said even the rooster missed me and called for me, “Where is Yunais?!” to the sound of his cock-a-doodle-doo.

We won an apron in a competition so I made dad put it on! (Pinto (20), mom, dad, Francis (18), Chico (22)

There is also a lot of fake violence: for example, my brother threatens to beat me with a giant trophy every night. He calls it “postre” or “dessert”. He’s always asking me if I want “dessert” and that he’s always willing to share it anytime…all I have to do is ask. Sometimes I turn around and he’s hitting the huge hulking trophy base against his palm like he’s going to bludgeon me to death in any moment. So finally I asked him if he wanted dessert. When he asked what it was, I offered him a mouthful of my sweet knuckles. He politely declined my generous offer. Also, once they told me it was unsafe to walk alone through town in the afternoon but I threw up my karate hands and told them I was a kung fu master. Now mom always karate chops the dad while he’ eating and asks if her form is right. I always tell her to use more force and get him in the schnoz. It’s a great time!!

Also, they do this thing when people are choking where they slap them across the back of the head, really, really hard like we would pound someone’s back. Well, one time I was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast and I started sneezing (holding it in, without making any noise) and all of a sudden everyone stops talking and my sister jumps up faster that I’ve ever seen anyone move and is pounding me across the head. So I start shouting, “AAhhhh why are you hitting me?!” And then I realize that they thought I was choking. Now whenever they want to make fun of me, they pretend to sneeze, convulsing silently and laughing hysterically.

Here are the earrings they bought me/forced me to wear lol
Lastly, they’re kind of bossy. Whenever they really want you to do something, there’s no denying them. Either they guilt you, “Why are you always rejecting me?” and then you feel obligated to do it. Or, when I returned from a week-long trip, the bought me some pretty gold earrings. The next day as we were leaving for a party, mom says, “Put your new earrings on,” to which I say, “Oh they’re so beautiful but this skirt has silver in it and they’re gold.” To which she says, “No, they match your shirt (my shirt was purple and the earrings have blue in them lol). Go put them on.” And that was the end of that. I wore those blue and gold earrings with my silver and purple skirt like I was commanded and everyone was happy. Or the time I had a stomach ache and they kept saying I needed an alka-seltzer tablet. I told them I don’t like to take medicine because usually illnesses pass on their own. They reluctantly let the issue drop but kindly brought me my favorite tea….which was laced with alka-seltzer….LOL they think they’re so clever!!! Isn’t that illegal or something?

Ok, that wasn’t the last thing, I have to share this: So mom hand-washes all my clothes and I’m responsible to wash my underwear. One day I was hanging up my newly-scrubbed underwear on the line and my dad happens to be standing around talking. He takes a long look at them and finally says, “aaahhhh Yunais tiene las banderas del mundo.” Or “Yuna has the flags of the world….there’s Guatemala (the blue and white ones) and The United States and Argentina….” We all died laughing. The other volunteers in my town thought it was awkward but I just thought it was funny. Now this part get’s a little strange….so I took a picture of them and whenever anyone comes over, the whole family starts shouting that I should show them the banderas (flags). This one family friend came over who’s about the same age as host dad and the family insisted that I bring the camera to show him and his wife the banderas. So when he gets the camera in his hands he does a quick glance and then takes off his glasses…I figure he’s like my parents and can see better without them since he’s getting a little older. OMG, the family ragged on him for like 10 minutes about taking off his glasses to get a better look at the banderas. That was the first time I felt slightly awkward about the situation. Needless to say, I’ll probably just erase the picture off my camera so the fam will stop asking me to display them!

If anyone comes to visit, we’re for sure having dinner with them!

So this happened a few days ago but whenever I think of it, I still laugh:

Sitting my room after a miserable afternoon in Spanish class, my nose was running and I was reviewing all the things wrong in my life: I have fleas, we’re all anxious about who our partners will be, my feet are always filthy from the dust, I keep saying ridiculous and embarrassing things in Spanish etc….anyway…since tissues are expensive and I don’t have a screen, I decided to blow a snot rocket out my window. My neighbor was below washing clothes and I didn’t want her to see me and think poorly of me but I wasn’t’ wearing my glasses and couldn’t tell if she was looking at me. (spoiler: do not try to rush snot rockets, it is a bad idea.) Then I saw the family dog that hate…after that I’m not sure what eight your old boy climbed into my head and commandeered my brain but I decided in that moment to aim my snot rocket at the dog. I know….this just keeps getting stupider : / But the dog is such a bully...not only does he start fights in the streets with every dog we pass (which if we caught up in, could get us bitten and then we’d die from rabies), but he impregnated our sad little puppy that looks like she’s about to die from starvation because he steals all her food—so now both she and their puppies will die from hunger. Plus, he eats baby chicks and kittens. Can we say douchebag? He had it coming.
While hanging out the window blowing the snot rocket, I thought I saw my neighbor turn to look at me…so I prematurely duck back into my window…and, needless to say it did not end well…HUGE MESS! Bad idea : ( The moral of the story, don’t rush a sneak attack snot rocket mission against a bully dog from your second story window while your neighbor is washing clothes and might see you and think you’re a fool….failure is imminent…and it’s just all around a bad idea. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to get Mr. Bully and let you know how it works out.

Other dumb things I’ve done:
We were playing the game “two truths and lie” as an ice breaker where everyone has to guess which of your three statements is a lie. Well when it was my turn, I said my three statements but when they guessed which was the lie, I told them the wrong one! I can’t even keep my truths and lies straight without confusing myself! Also, during another icebreaker when we were supposed to make a crossword using the letters in our names, I definitely spelled my own name wrong! I suppose this is a good sign that my personality is on its way back lol

Language Bloopers:
1. What I meant to say: Are you going to the church to pray? -What I said: Are you going to the church to save?
2. What I meant to say: Do you want me to sweep? -What I said: Do you want me to erase?
3. What I meant to say: I’m going on a trip! -What I said: I’m going on an old!
4. What I meant to say: Can we put onions on it? -What I said: Can we put horse on it?
5. What I meant to say: Do you have any advice for me? -What I said: Do you have any rabbits for me?

Some pretty cool pictures of Antigua at night.


Some of my family plus my aunt and cousins.

So we went to a Mayan religious ceremony marking the changing of the calander. Here are some interesting pictures:

Here's a group shot while we waited for lunch.

I don't know why all my hair decided to move to one side but it's super curly here!

This guy lead the ceremony in a Mayan language and after each section translated it for us into Spanish.

There were tons of candles! Hundreds.

Not sure what we were doing in this pic, these guys are from the Ecotourism program...we don't see much of them : (

A site with one of the ruins.

Lunch! Those sausages were soooo good.

My mom made this delicious strawberry and milk drink that was SOOOO refreshing and amazing.

Things you probably didn’t know about life in Guatemala:

My mom cooks over an open fire at least twice a day: twice to make tortillas and once to roast/grill meat or cook tomatoes to make salsa.
I heat the water for my bucket bath over a fire (which, for some reason I cannot start. I swear I set it up just like they do, but no never works : (

Noise Levels
A man’s house is his castle and everyone takes that opportunity to play music as LOUD as their speakers will allow. When walking to class or home for lunch one can hear anything from salsa to reggatone to a wide variety of American music such as Beyonce, Michael Jackson or Black-Eyed Peas or old rock songs that most black people probably don’t know and would never listen to (or I would name them).
It’s also very interesting that Guatemalan’s love to talk (I mean give a Guatemalan a mic or ask them to say a few words and you’ll be there another half hour, minimum) but, on the bus, no one speaks to each other. Maybe since families see so much of one another all day, they get tired of talking but it’s very interesting to stop and look around when there are lots of American’s and Guatemalan’s on a bus: the Americans are talking and shouting from seat to seat and laughing loudly but I’ve never seen Guatemalan’s do anything like that even within one row…not even the teenagers!

Tremors
We’ve felt four tremors since we’ve been here, which is usually how many there are per year. This makes me a little nervous because every thirty or so years there seems to be a big earthquake and Guatemala is well past that thirty year mark. But let’s not dwell on that….I don’t know if anyone’s ever felt a tremor, the after-affect of an earthquake, but it’s actually kind of exciting. It feels like you’re in a dollhouse and someone is gently rocking it back and forth. During the first and strongest tremor, we were in a school and the chairs started rumbling and the floor shook and when I’m at home the roof rattles! Exciting no?
Let’s Go Shopping
So in small towns there are no commercialized stores or little shops. Any place that you buy meat, tortillas, fruit or one of the many snack foods offered here are sold from storefronts attached to houses. (actually there’s one free standing tienda/store in the plaza.) Going to the store really reveals a fundamental cultural difference: if you enter a store in the US or go to someone’s house to pick something up, the employee/person rushes to greet you and get what you need. Here, you ring the bell or shout “good afternoon!” and 1) hope the person hears and 2) hope that they are feeling generous that day and don’t meander to the door after they finish ironing that piece of clothing they were working on. It’s a very distinct difference in not only how people treat business but in how people live daily life. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen anyone in my town walk above a slow amble, even the kids. Since I’m always 2 minutes late to class, I’m sure it’s quite a spectacle to see the giant black girl man-striding through town shouting “buenos dias” at everyone.

“Good morning….good morning……good morning……….good morning….good morning.”
About that….so in the US (unless you’re in the South) people don’t really greet people they don’t know unless they’re in a particularly friendly mood, in my experience. Well, here in Guatemala, it is maximally important, especially in small towns, that one greet everyone on the street with a “Buenos dias, buenas tardes or buenas noches—good morning, good afternoon, good evening”. If you don’t, people will call you “enojada” or the “that angry girl”. I kid you not depending on how many people are on the street you might say “good morning” 20 times on the way to your destination. I love/hate it—it makes you look at people in the face and you start to recognize them and you aren’t always caught up in your little world. Also, Guatemalan culture dictates that one greet everyone in the room regardless of circumstances. So I visited my Grandparent’s house and a cousin was talking and crying with Grandma and I had to interrupt and say “good morning” and they had to greet me back before they could continue. Or, if you’re late to a meeting, don’t even think about slinking to the back unnoticed, if you fail to greet everyone properly, people might ask if you are upset with them and think you are extremely rude. So next time you’re late to the office or for class, barge into that room with a strong “good morning everyone!” and be sure to shake the boss’s/teacher’s hand on your way to your seat!

Questions
Other interesting cultural difference: In the states, it’s uncommon and uncomfortable to ask someone else how much they make or how much they paid for something like a camera or car. Here, people will ask you about everything from how much do your parents make to how much your camera or nail polish or a flight to Colorado costs. Also, Americans are consumed with what someone does—their job or contribution to society. Here, people are much more concerned with who your family is: what’s your family name, how many siblings do you have, how old are you parents and MOST importantly, are you married or do you have a boy/girlfriend? Sometimes people jump right in with, how many children do you have? Was it hard to leave your spouse in the States? I’m pretty sure I’m just gonna print off a picture of some Indian hottie and put it in my pocket so I can show off my fiancé next time someone asks : )

Family Life
You know how in the states if you’re past college age and living at home your parents might want you out and you probably feel like you should have moved out years ago (just based on societal standards and pressures)? Well in Guatemala, outside of the capital where it’s more westernized, if one isn’t married, they continue to live with their family. So there are people in their 30s living at home with their 4 brothers and sisters and mom and dad. I think it makes sense, but in the states it’s common to be out by 20. Guatemalan’s think it’s strange that parents would kick their child out of the family at such as young age and that children would want to leave to live alone. (People in Guatemala are almost never alone whether walking, shopping or doing housework.) Perhaps this is also because a Guatemalan’s social life is his family. I mean the families are much bigger and most family members live somewhere in the town (I have like 30 first cousins and tons of aunts and uncles in my town that my family visits or that come over to eat or work or chat). In any case, an interesting cultural difference.